March 4, 2011

A Game of Polo, Anyone?

Some years back, I was contracted to do a Cher impersonator gig at polo grounds in the desert; I worked the gig with ‘Marilyn Monroe’ and ‘Tom Cruise’.

Polo grounds generally don’t have dressing rooms for entertainers, they have stalls for horses.  Fortunately though, we didn’t have to get ready in a horse stall; there was a restroom on-site near the field.  However, this restroom did not  have A/C and it was 95 degrees outside.

‘Marilyn’ and I shared (or would that be ‘Chered’) the tiny restroom, which had one stand-alone sink, no counters and one toilet stall.  As we juggled hand-held mirrors, false eyelashes, make-up brushes and costumes, the temperature in this little space began to rise until it became quite stifling.  It became so hot and sticky, I could not pull on my faux leather pants.

I began to panic - guests were starting to arrive.  I quickly patted face powder all over my legs, which allowed the pants to slide on, but left powdery hand prints on the black pants.  I quickly wiped  the prints off with a damp paper towel (luckily the restroom had paper towels).  I squirmed into my bustier as my skin glistened with sweat.  I threw everything into my suitcase, trudged to my car and stashed everything in the trunk.  Whew!

I glided into the party feeling as though I had just played a polo match from all that sweating in the un-airconditioned restroom.  Maybe the horse stall would have been a better dressing room after all!