April 28, 2008

Forget to Pay the Utility Bills?

The location of this 2004 Cher impersonator gig was the rooftop of an exclusive condo building on the Pacific coast. My “green room” was the model unit; a beautiful suite, fully furnished with a wonderful view of the Pacific Ocean and the golden, setting sun.

After sound check, I was ready to eat, but didn’t have time to go out; found nothing in the fridge and discovered the fruit bowl on the kitchen counter was made of wax. I started to do makeup and quickly discovered there was not only no hot running water - there was NO water running anywhere! I made a call. While I waited, a 5-gallon bottle of Sparkletts was delivered to the suite (you know, the one that gives you a hernia if you try to lift it).

I had been applying makeup for 30 minutes in the elegant model bathroom with my 5-gallon jug of water, when suddenly - POOF, I am in total darkness. I feel around for my cell phone and make another call; lights back on. 30 minutes later - POOF, in total darkness again. Doing makeup in partial darkness, I was certain I would end up looking like Sonny instead of Cher. After the performance, I returned to the suite to pack up my things and - POOF, in total darkness again. (Would somebody please pay the utility bills?)

In spite of the power outages in the “green room”, the Cher impersonator show was well-received and thankfully, no one got a hernia.